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The
Burden
"Why was my burden so heavy?" I
slammed the bedroom door and leaned against it. Was
there no rest from this life? I stumbled to my bed
and dropped onto it, pressing my pillow around my
ears to shut out the noise of my existence.
"Oh God," I cried, "let me sleep. Let me sleep
forever and never wake up!" With a deep sob I tried
to will myself into oblivion, then welcomed the
blackness that came over me.
Light surrounded me as I regained consciousness. I
focused on its source: the figure of a man standing
before a cross.
"My child," the person asked, "why did you want to
come to Me before I am ready to call you?"
"Lord, I'm sorry. It's just that... that I can't go
on. You see how hard it is for me. Look at this
awful burden on my back. I simply can't carry it
anymore."
"But haven't I told you to cast all of your burdens
on Me, because I care for you? My yoke is easy, and
My burden is light."
"I knew You would say that. But why does mine have
to be so heavy?"
"My child, everyone in the world has a burden.
Perhaps you would like to try a different one?"
"I can do that?"
He pointed to several burdens lying at His feet.
"You may try any of these."
All of them seemed to be of equal size. But each
was labeled with a name. "There's Joan's," I said.
Joan was married to a wealthy businessman. She
lived in a sprawling estate and dressed her three
daughters in the prettiest designer clothes.
Sometimes she drove me to church in her Cadillac
when my car was broken.
"Let me try that one." How difficult could her
burden be? I thought. The Lord removed my
burden and placed Joan's on my shoulders. I sank to
my knees beneath its weight.
"Oh,Take it off quickly!" I said. "What makes it so
heavy?"
"Look inside."
I untied the straps and opened the top. Inside was
a figure of her Mother-in-law, and when I lifted it
out, it began to speak "Joan, you'll never be
good enough for my son." "He never should have
married you. You're a terrible mother to my
grandchildren..."
I quickly placed the figure back in the pack and
withdrew another. It was Donna, Joan's youngest
daughter; Her head was bandaged from the surgery
that had failed to resolve her epilepsy. A third
figure was Joan's brother. Addicted to drugs, he
had been convicted of killing a police officer. "I
see why her burden is so heavy, Lord. But she's
always smiling and helping others. I didn't
realize..."
"Would you like to try another?" He asked
quietly.
I tested several. Paula's felt heavy. She was
raising four small boys without a father. Debra's
did too: a childhood of sexual abuse and a marriage
of emotional abuse. When I came to Ruth's burden, I
didn't even try. I knew that inside I would find
arthritis, old age, a demanding full-time job, and
a beloved husband in a nursing home.
"They're all too heavy, Lord." "Give me back my
own."
As I lifted the familiar load once again, it seemed
much lighter than the others.
"Lets look inside" He said.
I turned away, holding it close. "That's not a very
good idea."
"Why?"
"There's a lot of junk in there."
"Let Me see."
The gentle thunder of His voice compelled me. I
opened my burden. He pulled out a brick.
"Tell me about this one."
"Lord, You know.It's money. I know we don't suffer
like people in some countries or even the homeless
here in America. But we have no insurance, and when
the kids get sick, we can't always take them to the
doctor. They've never been to a dentist. And I'm
tired of dressing them in hand-me-downs."
"My child, I will supply all of your needs...and
your children's. I've given them healthy bodies. I
will teach them that expensive clothing doesn't
make a person valuable in My sight."
Then He lifted out the figure of a small boy.
"And this?"
"Andrew..." I hung my head, ashamed to call my son
a burden. "But, Lord, he's hyperactive. He's not
quiet like the other two. He makes me so tired.
He's always getting hurt, and someone is bound to
think I abuse him. I yell at him all the time.
Someday I may really hurt him...."
"My child, if you trust Me, I will renew your
strength, If you allow Me to fill you with My
Spirit, I will give you patience."
Then He took some pebbles from my burden.
"Yes, Lord, those are small but they're important.
I hate my hair. It's thin, and I can't make it look
nice. I can't afford to go to the beauty shop. I'm
overweight and can't stay on a diet. I hate all my
clothes. I hate the way I look!"
"My child, people look at your outward appearance,
but I look at your heart. By My Spirit, you can
gain self-control to lose weight. But your beauty
should not come from outward appearance. Instead,
it should come from your inner self, the unfading
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of
great worth in My sight."
My burden seemed lighter than before.
"I guess I can handle it now" I said.
"There is more," He said. "Hand Me that last
brick."
"Oh, You don't have to take that. I can handle
it."
"My child, give it to Me." Again His voice
compelled me. He reached out His hand, and for the
first time I saw an ugly wound.
"But, Lord, this brick is so awful, so nasty,
so..... Lord! What happened to Your hands? They're
so scarred!"
No longer focused on my burden, I looked up for the
first time into His face. On His brow were ragged
scars -- as though someone had pressed thorns into
His flesh.
"Lord," I whispered. "What happened to You?"
His loving eyes reached into my soul.
"My child, you know. Hand Me the brick. It belongs
to Me. I bought it."
"How?"
"With My blood."
"But why, Lord?"
"Because I have loved you with an everlasting love.
Give me the brick."
I placed my filthy brick into His wounded palm. It
contained all the dirt and evil of my life: my
sins, my pride, my selfishness, the depression that
constantly tormented me.
He turned to the cross and hurled my brick into the
pool of blood at its base. It hardly made a
ripple.
"Now, My child, you must to go back. I will be with
you always. When you are troubled, call to Me and I
will help you and show you things you cannot even
imagine now."
"Yes, Lord, I will call on You."
I reached down to pick up my burden.
"You may leave that here if you wish. You see all
these burdens? They are the ones that others have
left at My feet. Joan's, Paula's, Debra's and
Ruth's and many others. When you leave your burden
here, I carry it with you. Remember, My yoke is
easy and My burden is light."
As I placed my burden with Him, the light began to
fade. Yet I heard Him whisper, "I will never leave
you, nor forsake you."
A peace that passed my understanding flooded my
soul. I stood tall and walked back into life.
"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy
laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon
you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in
heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For
My yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew
11:28-30)
*** © Copyright 1993 Louise M. Gouge All
rights reserved. Used by permission. ***
First published in MOODY Magazine in February
1993


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